Plot Points #53 💌
Lost wedding rings, not nice but kind, sustainability, and learning German
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Hi friends and happy Friday. I haven’t been around much lately and here’s why:
Last week, we lost my step-grandfather at the age of eighty. His name was James, but we called him PJ. He and my grandmother hadn’t been married for a long time, but he was a fixture of my childhood and in Nannie’s twilight years they’d become the best of friends and longtime companions.
A few weeks ago, we went to visit Nannie and PJ for the day. Per usual, I got into a heated discussion with him that ended with rolled eyes and laughter. He liked to bait me with outlandish comments, and even as a little kid sitting on the floor next to his recliner I couldn’t resist. It was just our way, and it never angered me so much as entertained me. The feeling was mutual.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people are nice: polite, friendly, superficially amiable. Not everyone is kind. PJ was a blue-collar mechanic for forty years and an Air National Guard veteran. He married my grandmother—who had four little kids at the time—when he was just a young man in his twenties. He was rough around the edges and not always nice to people—my aunt liked to call him Hornet—but he took care of my dad and taught him to swim, fish, and a hundred other little things that still make up my father’s life. My experience of PJ, from the time I was a little girl playing pat-a-cake on his lap to that last lunch debate a few weeks ago, was that he wasn’t always friendly, but he was kind. He would water my grandmother’s plants and cancel his plans to be with her. He met Jesus a few years back and made friends with other believers who loved to ride motorcycles as much as he did. He was quietly generous, unconcerned with material possessions, and never made a show of what he had.
And the last thing he said to me was, “I love you.”
He will be missed.
.Rest in peace, PJ. We’ll see you again soon. (And thank you for the Christmas decorations 😭.)
Point #1: One more month until I’m a homeschool mom again. (!!!)
I’m so excited to begin homeschooling Theo and Lucy together this fall. It’s such a joy to be at home with my children overseeing their education, spiritual development, and delight in the world. Alongside their homeschool hybrid classes two days a week, we’ll be working from The Good & The Beautiful. It’s a company I used when Lucy was in first grade and we loved it. It incorporates faith elements into its curriculum in a gentle, loving way and they have a ton of free resources to download! Check them out if you’re interested in a simple, accessible curriculum to help ease you into the homeschooling journey.
Point #2: “I can’t model a life spent mostly away from the computer, because my professional work simply must happen largely on that laptop.”
with the words I needed to read right now.Point #3: America the Mid…
I so appreciated
’s July 4th essay on how important it is to consider the vast possibilities available to Americans, while also remaining clear-eyed about how much we could improve. I’m tired of seeing extremist hot takes on “Al Gore’s internet” and her words made me feel hopeful about our nation’s future.Point #4: I have a German best friend, so I’m going to (attempt to) learn German.
This YouTube channel has over 1 million subscribers and almost 1,000 free German lessons, taught by native speakers within their cultural context. Wunderbar!
Word of the Week ✍🏻
Librocubularist: (n.) A person who reads in bed.
Receipts from a No-Buy Year 🧾
I lost my wedding ring two weeks ago 🥴. I found it again six days later but only after I had purchased this $15 cubic zirconia lookalike from Amazon so I had something to wear on my ring finger. I was desperate, okay? I had already committed to wearing it for a year before buying a real ring, in case I found it months down the road, so I felt this was a good compromise. My sister suggested I wear it to the beach this weekend on our annual girls trip, so I’ve decided to keep it instead of making a return. I don’t ever want to feel that panicky again!
Faux Wedding Ring: $16.07
Otherwise, I’ve been true to my word and haven’t purchased anything unnecessary since I promised myself I’d buckle down and really challenge my spending habits for the next half of the year. I’ve made lattes at home or bought them with points only; I’ve redecorated little spaces in our house by shopping what we have and rearranging pieces; I decided against the spray tan appointment and used the self-tanner I have at home instead. The more I look around, the more I see how much I already have and the more I enjoy rediscovering it all.
But besides sharing what I haven’t done, or haven’t spent, I want to talk about other ways I’ve found to act sustainably and celebrate those moments. It’s important to get excited about this process or it can quickly become only about our limitations, rather than our freedom.
Here are some fun ways I’ve been able to save or be more sustainable lately:
My older sister helped a friend clean out some totes of skincare and makeup and sent me home with about $600 worth of unopened anti-aging moisturizers, retinols, lip gloss, powder, brushes, peel pads, and lipstick. Like, I am SET for the next year or so and I never would have been able to afford some of these items without the generosity of my sister and her friend. My skin’s about to look like a baby’s ass, for real.
I upcycled one of my empty glass moisturizer jars to store the last of the lotion hiding at the bottom of my plastic bottle. (There’s so much still in there if you cut it open!)
Instead of buying plastic bottles of shampoo and conditioner when I ran out, I purchased the unpackaged bar versions from Sprouts. They are surprisingly effective and smell so good.
I’ve taken my reusable coffee cup every time I bought coffee outside the home!
I’m checking out books from the library on Libby or Kindle and getting back to the long list of physical TBRs on my office shelf.
I watched a YouTube tutorial to fix the zipper on my favorite pair of jean shorts, rather than replace it with a new pair.
I bought a book secondhand on PangoBooks for a family member’s birthday and wrapped it with adorable ASL Christmas paper I had saved from a previous gift. Who cares if it’s not birthday paper? It’s going to get ripped up anyway.
I’ve told my kids to add whatever toy/book/gadget they see at the store to their Christmas or birthday list instead of buying it that day. (Which usually means they just forget about it in five minutes.)
I looked up beach outfit ideas on Pinterest and then went through my closet to see what I had to match. So fun!
I’ve also loved watching Alyssa Barber’s anti-haul YouTube channel where she talks about how to upcycle items we already own (like the aforementioned moisturizer jar) and challenge ourselves to be late to trends. She has inspired me to keep going and have fun with the no-buy year, which is just the encouragement I need right now!
Bi-Weekly Total: $16.07
Reading in The Nook 📚
One thing I have been busy with these past few weeks is reading. I’m obsessed with Rebecca Yarros’ The Empyrean series, and finished the first book Fourth Wing last week. It’s a stellar fantasy with a dragon riding school, enemies-to-lovers trope, and disability rep! I’m listening to Iron Flame (#2) right now because the audio version was the only one available for the next three months at our library 😭. I’m not a huge fan of audiobooks, but it’ll do in a pinch. I’m desperate for more of Violet’s adventures!
I also read The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna and loved it from start to finish. It’s a magical story of found family, accepting our weirdest parts, and learning to love—and let ourselves be loved—unconditionally. A super cozy read that I would save for fall if reading for the very first time.
Emily Henry’s latest Funny Story finally came available at the library and it was a perfect beach-prep read. Every author has their own style and Henry’s books are always full of delicious banter and well-done romance tropes. My favorite part was the last few lines of dialogue because I love love LOVE how she tied it back to the beginning with a tidy bow on a sweet, funny story. (swidt?)
Finally, I read Alice Feeney’s Good Bad Girl, which I thought was highly readable, better in the first half than the second, and a solid choice for a not-too-intense thriller. I’ve felt this way about Feeney’s other novels, too, so maybe I’ll branch out and try some new authors next time. I’ll take any suggestions!
What are you reading right now? 👇🏻
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“I am out with lanterns, looking for myself.”
—Emily Dickinson—
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German and ASL you’re gonna be multilingual soon!